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THIS WEEK IN HISTORY

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THIS WEEK IN THE FUTURE

Your high school and college textbooks redact history, so why can't I?

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WEEK 1, JULY 1961

Author Ernest Hemingway commits suicide while living in Ketchum, Idaho. A veteran of the Italian Front in WWI, the Spanish Civil War, the Western Front in WWII, and a perilous safari in Africa that involved a plane crash, Idaho proves to be too much for him.

WEEK 1, JULY 2011

Conspiracy nuts re-open the Hemingway suicide case. Various theories include a government assassination due to Hemingway’s ties with Cuba, physician assisted suicide linked to the electroconvulsive therapy that he was undergoing for depression, and Halliburton.

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WEEK 4, JUNE 1916

The first United States patent for a snow-vehicle (snowmobile) using the recognized format of rear tracks and front skis was issued to Ray H. Muscott of Waters, MI. Local people don’t know what to think of this new dogless dogsled

WEEK 4, JUNE 2016

Self-righteous environmentalists start driving their new Prius snowmobiles while the rest of us point and laugh

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WEEK 3, JUNE 2007

Lawyer Mike Nifong loses his law license over the Duke Lacrosse Team rape scandal. Tuitions skyrocket at Duke as the university hands over a settlement to the falsely accused rapists.

WEEK 3, JUNE 2017

We are still waiting for the gang of 88 professors at Duke University to apologize for their false accusation against the Lacrosse Team.

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WEEK 2, JUNE 2007

Angelina Jolie promotes her latest movie “A Mighty Heart," a movie about freedom of the press; but censors her interviews and bans Fox News from the premiere.

WEEK 2, JUNE 2014

Angelina Jolie promotes a new movie about family values after marrying her 4th husband

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WEEK 1, JUNE 2003

Future Rhode Island Congressman Patrick Kennedy states, "I don't need Bush's tax cut. I have never worked a (bleeping) day in my life." Another Kennedy once said, “…ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.”

WEEK 1, JUNE 2015

After serving 20 years in the US House of Representatives Congressman Patrick Kennedy declares once again, “I have never worked a (bleeping) day in my life.”

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WEEK 4, MAY 1997

The first all-female team (British) of adventurers reaches the North Pole. They sweep up the mess and clean the dishes left by earlier male expeditions.

WEEK 4, MAY 2017

The North Pole ice cap melts from carbon dioxide given off by Al Gore’s incessant blustery, giving Al a self-fufilled prophecy

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WEEK 3, MAY 2006

The "700 Club" host Pat Robertson says that God has talked to him again. "If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be lashed by storms," Robertson said. "There well may be something as bad as a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest."

WEEK 3, MAY 2012

Pat Robertson reports that God has told Pat Robertson to stop speaking for Him.

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WEEK 2, MAY 1913

The XVIIth Amendment to the Constitution providing for the popular election of US Senators is ratified. Previously, most senators were either appointed, or voted in by state legislatures. This has led to our present-day problem of creating senators who are nothing more than automatons to their national parties and interest groups, and unresponsive to the citizens of their states.

WEEK 2, MAY 2022

The XXVIIIth Amendment to the Constitution repeals the XVIIth Amendment and re-establishes state legislature appointments for US Senators. The senators are now beholden to the states and not the national parties, and state legislatures have an incentive to monitor their activity for the citizens. A third party is now no longer necessary for changes in the Senate

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WEEK 1, MAY 1789

Our nation’s first inaugural ball for President George Washington is held in New York City. He is our nation’s first white president.

WEEK 1, MAY 2010

President Obama’s inauguration finally ends

This week in history/future archive