The Winning Ticket for Democrats in 2008

THE WINNING TICKET FOR DEMOCRATS IN 2008

2008

HILLARY ON THE

LEFT

THE PARTY IN THE CENTER

BRETT ON THE

RIGHT

This ticket will be unbeatable in the 2008 election. Hillary Clinton, the alpha male of the Democrat Party, and Brett Favre, the sensitive quarterback who wears his emotions on his sleeve. Hillary will make the announcement during the Democratic National Convention when she says, "I have always been a southern belle at heart."

Since 2002 the media have inundated us with these two darlings. Stories about whether Hillary will run, and whether Brett will retire. What better pair of people to complement each other on the Democrat ticket for 2008?

You see, Hillary has a problem. She is the uber-feminist (at least she's been telling us that from the back of Bill's wagon all these years) and most of America will not vote for her. She needs to soften her image. To do that, she will need the quarterback who is on ESPN's "Behind the Lines" every week sharing his feelings about his family tragedies, his drug addiction, and how hurricane Katrina damaged his family home. (Sniff) I hope he can rebuild with some of the money from his $100m contract with the Green Baby Packers. ESPN has made a big girlie man out of him. He is a threat to manhood everywhere and this is what the politically correct crowd adores. He will be the perfect complement to Hillary the ice queen.

Let's chart how they further complement each other

ISSUE	HILLARY	BRETT

Persona	uber-Feminist	Sensitive Male
Charm	Ice Queen	Emotions on his Sleeve
College	Ivy League	SEC
Electoral Strength	Midwest	South
Preferred Clothing	Pants	Panties
Victim Status	Philandering Husband	Addiction to Painkillers
Biggest Need	A Young Stud	Man Points
Controversy	Vince Foster	Michael Strahan
Fame	Woman of the 90s	Quarterback of the 90s
Biggest Problem	Vast Right Wing Conspiracy	20 Interceptions per Year

If this is not good enough to guarantee the election, get ready for an October surprise…Chelsea's first baby! In fact, Chelsea will be used as a political tool throughout the entire election season. She will get married a few days before the Iowa caucus and get pregnant right away. We will be able to watch her pregnancy progress throughout all of the primaries. Around the time of the Democratic National Convention she will be hospitalized with complications. Then in October she will give birth. This will give Hillary that grandmother image.

If we can't arrange all that perhaps Brett will have a chance to single handedly save Hattiesburg from a late season October hurricane.

The only thing that is preventing this ticket from being unstoppable is the 800-pound gorilla that follows Hillary around and always upstages her.

Hmmmm…what to do to keep Bill in the background and out of the spotlight?

HOME-Something Ain't Right