MANPOINTS
It may be too late to save the American male. It started gradually with the urbanization of America, gained momentum with the rise of feminism, and started overtaking us with the growth of multiculturalism and the "Oprahization" of the American culture. It doesn't help that we haven't had a strong political leader since President Reagan.
Here is the beginning of a list of how men lose manpoints and what they have to do to recover them.
|
HOW
TO LOSE MANPOINTS |
HOW
TO RECOVER MANPOINTS |
| Drinking wine | Cook meat on the barbecue. No gas grill or use of charcoal briquets |
| Watching a chick flick | Watch the movie Roadhouse |
| Wearing mousse/gel in your hair | Disassemble and clean a semi-automatic pistol without shooting your gay self |
| Showering more than once a day | Eat a rare steak |
| Drinking lite beer | Drink a microbrew. Beer glass or mug are both authorized |
| Watching American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, etc | Fell a live tree with a chainsaw |
| Mixing bourbon with anything other than ice | Attain a concealed handgun permit |
| Wearing pink | Free a car from snow or mud |
| Wearing an Earring | Navigate through the woods with map and compass after removing earring |
| Preferring any of the Stark Trek offshoots to the original series | Watch a Three Stooges marathon |
| Having a Ponytail | Join the Army. Become a Ranger. |
| Being Afraid of bees | Sharpen a penciel with a knife. Careful! |
| Owning a dog that weighs less than 30 pounds | Sharpen a knife with a stone |
| Sun tanning or entering a tanning booth | Build a campfire with matches and only items you find in the woods |
| Riding passenger on a motorcycle | Properly hook up and then back up a trailer |
| Buying feminine products for your wife or girlfriend | Stick your hand in a fan |
| Buying feminine products for your really hot wife or girlfriend | Read a book about the Knights Templar |
| Not being able to get the lid off with your bare hands | Open a can of food with a P-38. If you don't know how to use a P-38 or this is the first time you ever saw one, then turn in your mancard |
| Sharing your feelings | Learn to properly keep score of a baseball game |
| Voting Democratic | Turn in your mancard. Submit to your new feminist overlords |
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