Something Ain't Right Dictionary

THE SOMETHING AIN'T RIGHT DICTIONARY

( a work in progress)

[Inspired by Ambrose Bierce]

THESE ARE THE LATEST ENTRIES. THEY WILL BE PLACED INTO THE DICTIONARY (BELOW) AT A LATER DATE

Achievement Gaps- Perceived disparity between white males and minorities with regards to education, employment, incarceration rates, etc. Allegedly, these inequalities exist due to pervasive
institutionalized racism and have nothing to do with individual choices, anti-social behavior, the breakdown of the family unit, government enforced dependency and ineffective public education.

Baby Killers- A name pro-choice liberals have given to soldiers. The term became popular around the time that abortion became legalizerd. In psychology, this is known as projecting.

Catfight- A colloquialism for a fight between two women. Men are reluctant to stop a catfight for two reasons. 1. It is always fun to watch two people brawl who do not know how to fight. 2. There is
always hope that a shirt will be torn off.

Community Organizer-A do nothing job for hopeful Democrat trying to get their foot in the political door. You are never required to accomplish anything other than creating distrust between the community and the police force. Note: If your neighborhood requires one, you may want to move out.

Divorced Mother-The result of a failed marriage with children involved. As opposed to a Single Mother who has been widowed, abandoned, or who has never married.

Empathy- 1. For normal people it denotes an understanding of the feelings of others. 2. For politicians it means, "I am an intellectual, I show now judge your worthiness.”

Friend- Someone who reflects your best qualities. As opposed to an enemy, or one who reflects your worst qualities

Ghettocrite- A person who states a dislike for the ghetto but maintains a self-destructive ghetto lifestyle and pattern of behavior.

Homelessness- The demographics of homeless ness can roughly be broken down to the following. The 40% who are mentally ill and should be institutionalized. Another 40% who are run of the mill bums and
prefer to be homeless. The 20% who are genuine and usually temporarily homeless.

Karaoke- A machine in a bar that operates with alcohol.

Moderate- The politics of self-deception. 1. Someone who thinks they are politically broadminded, but really just intellectually lazy. 2. Someone who is a liberal and wants to avoid the stigma by thinking
they are above the fray. Note- There has never been a famous moderate in the history of mankind.

Pro-choicers- A group of liberals who believe in a women’s right to choose regarding abortion, providing the choice they make is for abortion and not for life of the child.

Racism- Unfair treatment of a particular race. A white person who is accused of racism is presumed guilty as the alleged victim gains instant credibility. A minority who is accused of racism (a rare
event) is presumed innocent as the white victim is instantly marginalized

Slavery- 1. The single worst government program ever instituted in the United States. 2. According to some, an institution that was only practiced in the United States

Steroids- Any of a number of performance enhancing drugs that seem to be prevalent in the following sports: baseball, professional wrestling, bicycling, and track and field. Athletes who are caught
using steroids will typically exhibit the 5 stages of steroid addiction. 1. Anger. 2. Denial. 3. Ignorance over the complex rules for banned substances. 4. Blame someone else (personal doctor, team
trainer). 5. Claim to have only used them for a short period of time. Most athletes will eventually admit to steroid use after being cornered with overwhelming evidence, but they will never use the “S”
word in their confession.

Terrorism- 1. A rather cowardly type of warfare where the aggressor hides among the civilian population thereby endangering the civilian population and shifting the cost of war to them. 2. Organized crime for militants. Though they hide behind a stated motive of religion or politics, they are essentially shakedown artists looking for protection money.

United States of America- 1. The greatest country in the history of the world. Though not perfect, it has done more good for more of the Earth’s population, than any country in history. Conservatives
generally have a more favorable opinion of the United States and define it as the people. Liberals generally have a less than favorable opinion of the United States and define it as the government. 2. Probably the only country in the world where poverty leads to obesity.

Working Americans- 1. Democrats define working Americans as someone who needs a handout. 2. Republican define a working American as someone who is self-sufficient

COMMON PHRASES

“Conversation about race,” or “Dialogue on race”- A one-sided liberal litany of white injustices against black victims.

“We are raising awareness of x” -When an organization or person wants to draw attention to themselves. Example; “We are raising awareness of the homeless” by organizing some type of activity that doesn’t actually help the homeless but manages to raise people’s awareness of your compassion for the homeless.

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The “A” word. African-American. A divisive term used to refer to Black Americans

Accidental overdose-What happens when a Hollywood celebrity irresponsibly ingests too many drugs. As opposed to an ordinary overdose which afflict the less affluent street users.

Affirmative Action- A program that is used to promote access into certain institutions for historically under represented groups. In the US this program is SELECTIVELY applied as a social or political TOOL. For instance, in the world of professional sports, there is pressure put on the overwhelmingly white NASCAR to recruit black minorities, but there is no pressure put on the overwhelmingly black NBA to recruit more white athletes.

Anti-nuke movement- A liberal political movement that started protesting the growth of US nuclear technology in the 1970s which had the unintended resulted of causing the US to become hopelessly behind in clean energy production. They protested the use of US domestic nuclear power and the proliferation of US nuclear weapons in Europe, however today they are strangely silent as rogue nations such as North Korea and Iran increase their nuclear technology.

Atheist-The philosophically lazy. The militant atheists are the ones who fear God the most and are diligently trying to convince their greatest skeptics, themselves. A person who is desperately seeking God.

Bible- An overlooked and often ignored historical collection of religious books that established the Christian religion. It is only used to reference your neighbor's sins.

Black Liberation Theology- A theology that works to liberate Blacks from multiple alleged forms of bondage--social, political, economic and religious. The movement is headed by a radical group of Black preachers who stoke their congregations’ feelings of anger with fiery sermons while collecting offerings, and liberating themselves from economic bondage. Afro-Leninism

Bradley Effect- When voting results do not meet the hyped up expectations of the polls which are crafted by liberals

Campaign Season-When Democrat and Republican politicians try to convince you that they are different. The only time politicians listen to their voters.

Cap and Trade- A climate based treaty designed to level down the economic production of the developed world so that every country in the world will have a clean third world economy.

Celebrity Dissonance- The act of claiming that you bewail the celebrity culture while at the same time forming your own opinions about celebrities

Celebrity environmentalist- A person who travels extensively in private jets in order to make speeches condemning you for driving an SUV.

Characteristic- A favorable distinguishing attribute that sets apart a group of people. As opposed to a stereotype which is an unfavorable distinguishing attribute that sets apart a group of people

Christian Church- A group of people in a local community who get together to worship Jesus and agree on which Biblical sins will be tolerated within the group.

College sports- A system that, due to economic considerations, places enormous pressure on a coach to excel at the traditional college rituals of coaching and cheating.

Commercial Passenger Jet Airliner- A clown car with wings

Communism- An economic system designed to level the playing field between the exploited proletariat and the privileged bourgeoisie. Curiously, today the failed system finds support only amongst the bourgeoisie while they enjoy a life of capitalist benefits which communism could never provide.

Compassion- A tool used by liberals to give them political power.

Confederate Flag- A reminder of slavery. A flag that stood as a symbol for slavery for four years. As opposed to the US Flag which stood over slavery for 90 years.

Congressional Hearings- Free publicity for reelection minded politicians. Discussions about political issues that lead to no actual action or results.

Conspiracy Theories- A secret deceptive plot committed by powerful groups that you don't like.

Constitution- An overlooked and often ignored historical document that provided for the political creation of the United States. Its only use is as a political tool to swing at members of the opposing political party when they violate its principles.

Crying- A weapon used by the female of the species when they are losing a logical argument

Cult-A religion that is based upon the rambling visions and secret knowledge of one man. Examples-Scientology, Mormonism, Islam. A religion that does not understand the true nature of God.

Day Care- Daily storage for your pre-school children. A place where parents arrange to have other adults tend to the basic needs and rearing of their children so that they can go out and do more enjoyable tasks. A parent substitute.

Deconstructionism- A way of exploring 18th and 19th century literature by revealing the bias and evilness of white male authors of European descent. Authors are evaluated solely on whether they owned slaves, were chauvinists, and whether or not they were homosexuals. A way of leveling down the accomplishments of white males so that the literary works of females and minorities may be artificially elevated.

Democrat Politician-Lovers of big government spending who promise to eliminate social ills by enacting policies, which make the problem worse. This is done so that they may alleviate their own guilt while maintaining political power.

Disaffection-When a liberal has lost the intellectual argument.

Diversity-An ideology in our universities that strives toward a goal of hiring a varied faculty. This concept applies to appearance and sex only. It does not apply to religion (they must all be secularists), or political inclination, (they must all be liberal democrats). It is part of the larger cultural war against white, Christian, heterosexual males. An important concept for organizations that have been historically dominated by white males. This concept is not a factor in institutions that have historically been represented by females or minorities. Examples: NASCAR racing must become more diverse, while the NBA needs no changes. We do not need more male elementary school teachers, but we need more female college professors.

Divorce- When a husband and wife decide to stop trying to solve their personal problems and force the problems onto the children who must deal with them for the rest of their lives. In doing so they damage those who they should be protecting.

Draft Dodger- A member of a large, mostly privileged tribe of cowardly young white men who avoided the Vietnam War by fleeing to Canada, colleges, or the National Guard. Many of them are running our government now as members of the Republican and Democrat Parties, or in Talk Radio.

Electoral college- 1) A system for electing our president designed so that the smaller states would not be ignored. This ensures that the candidates will spread their lies and empty promises throughout all parts of the country and not just to the larger population centers. 2) A system of selecting our president that comes under scrutiny whenever a Republican wins.

Emotions-Something that men are expected to control and women are not. A man’s emotions are bad, and a woman’s emotions are pure. This is why marriage enrichment classes usually revolve around male bashing. This social engineering usually starts as soon as young children enter public education through the drugging of our young boys.

Environmentalism- A more benevolent form of communism.

Feminism- 1) A group of women who swapped dependence on their husbands and fathers for dependence on big government programs such as affirmative action, favorable divorce laws, government institutional daycare, maternity leave, free healthcare, and abortion. Thus, inadvertently reinforcing the notion that they are incapable of prospering on their own. 2) The study of victimization. A system that calls for parity, not equality. 3)"Despite the quotas of the 60s and 70s, social change wasn't happening fast enough for the new breed of feminists. So they responded with a vengeance by promoting extreme measures. They became anti-men, anti-marriage, anti-family and anti-children. This left a void in their membership that could only be filled by one group. That group was 'flag-waving, man-hating lesbians.'"-Rush Limbaugh

First Impression- An initial judgment you make about somebody that reveals more about you than it does about that person.

France-A country that surrenders often. A country that our liberals want to emulate in its entirety, except for their nuclear energy policy.

Free Speech Rights-A Constitutional Right for liberals to shout down a conservative who is giving a speech.

Gaffe-When a politician states a controversial truth while campaigning

Gambling- The waging of money on the outcome of a future event in the hopes of garnering more money. Gambling is a fool's errand and often psychologically addictive. It is frowned upon and considered illegal by the government unless they are sponsoring it and profiting.

Gay Marriage- An ostensible part of the equal rights agenda to mainstream the behavior of about 1-2% of the population. In reality, it is an attempt by liberals to further destabilize the traditional culture of marriage which has already suffered egregious wounds from its conservatives backers who engage in divorce, adultery, fornication, co-habitation, and out of wedlock baby making.

Ghost-The spirit or soul of a deceased person who often appears to the believer fully clothed. Though no one can explain why a ghost would need clothes, how their inanimate clothes could follow them into the afterlife, how their clothes do not disintegrate after hundreds of years, or where they buy new ghost clothes.

"Girls Gone Wild"- Videos that show us what feminism has done for our young women

Global Warming- A political system (as opposed to scientific) where rich people and celebrities who fly in private jets and live in 30-room mansions, offset their guilt by purchasing carbon credits from alternative fuel businesses which they are heavily invested in. An arcane term that was politically defeated and is now more commonly referred to as climate change.

Gun-Free Zone- 1. A place such as a high school or college that is targeted by mass murderers who know that it is a safe killing field. 2. An invisible barrier that will magically protect the innocent from bad people.

Gym- A place people go to develop their vanity through the use of the biggest and most prominent piece of equipment found in every gym, the mirror.

Happiness-A perpetual state of gratitude

Hate- An embarrassing response directed against another person who displays your worst qualities

Hate Crime- When a white male heterosexual commits a violent crime against certain protected classes in our society.

Hate speech-Justifiable criticism of a protected group that cannot be refuted.

Homelessness- A problem that plagues America whenever a Republican is president.

Homosexuals- A person who is sexually attracted to other people of the same sex. Someone who tries very hard to convince others that they are part of the mainstream, and becomes very militant when trying to convince their biggest skeptics; themselves.

Income Gap- The shameful difference in salaries between a big industry executive and their employees. This problem does not exist between a Hollywood movie star and the stage hand, or a college dean and the janitor.

International Space Station- An expensive international program shared by many and funded mostly by the United States. It doesn’t seem to serve any purpose other than to provide a platform to send women, minorities, and selected non-US and Russian nationalities into space. This assumption is based upon the media reports about the various missions which tend to highlight the makeup of the crew vice the actual mission they are to perform. It is essentially an Affirmative Action plan to make up for the space flights of the 1960s and 1970s which consisted of 99% white male astronauts from the US and Soviet Union.

Ku Klux Klan- A group of ignorant, white supremacists that are currently disorganized and feeble, but has historically been a powerful and violent militant arm of the Democrat Party (1870s, 1920s, and 1950s).

Libertarian- An anarchist with money who wants to grow his own marijuana, as opposed to a Democrat who wants the government to provide his marijuana.

Lifetime television- A television network dedicated to exposing white males as the natural-born victimizing rogues that they really are. A television network that caters to women through the use of victims and devious characters, both of which women relate to.

Marriage Enrichment Class-A seminar designed to feminize male behavior.

Mental illness- A psychological condition found mostly in well-developed western countries. Lesser developed countries and Eastern cultures don't have the time to sit around, feel sorry for themselves, and think about mental illness.

Mid East Peace Process- A series of cease fires set up by the United Nations and United States which allow the Muslims to reorganize, rearm, reload and re-attack Israel.

Misogynist-Anybody who disagrees with a feminist

Multiculturalism- A method of teaching about other cultures with propaganda fueled denigration of western culture and the artificial elevation of minor cultures.

Nuance- Liberal political speak. Liberals politicians like to believe that when they are misunderstood it is because they speak in fine distinctions that the common man does not understand. But nuance is not high-speak that you and I are not smart enough to comprehend. Nuance is simply a euphemism for double-speak that is crafted so that the politician cannot be held down to one side of an issue.

Open minded- When you are open to anything that a liberal is open to and disagree with the things that a liberal finds disagreeable.

Pacifist- A person whose cowardice is camouflage by idealism.

Palestinians- 1. A group of historically stateless Arab people in the Middle East who were routinely discriminated against by their Arab brethren until it was discovered they could be used as political tools against Israel. 2. A member of a historically stateless Middle Eastern tribe of people known mostly for protesting, rock throwing, flag burning, and indiscriminate Katyusha rocket launching. Some have limited English speaking skills and can be heard chanting, “Death to Israel, death to America.”

Peace Movement- A group of hippies who get together to protest the end of a specific war, but actually end up prolonging it by emboldening the enemy.

Political Attack Ad- Telling the truth about your opponent

Political Correctness- "Mandatory dishonesty and obfuscation of factual information when the truth is offensive to liberals. A priori censorship of genuine ideological diversity."- William F. Buckley, Jr.

Political debate-When two or more candidates for the same political office compete to give the fewest straight answers and reveal as little as possible about their future plans.

Political Diversity- When a college faculty hire professors with political affiliations that range from the left to the far left

Private Military Company-A private company, similar to a defense contractor that provides direct combat missions for a government. Their missions are necessary but too politically unpopular and risky to use the real military. If politicians had the political courage to allow our traditional military forces to accomplish these missions, then the private companies would be unnecessary.

Pro-choice- A side of the abortion fight that is only is only interested in one choice; abortion.

Quarantine-Government forced isolation of a person who comes down with a dangerous, communicable illness such as typhoid or small pox. This policy does not apply to AIDS patients who, for political reasons were allowed to continue spreading the death sentence.

Race Neutral Test- An examination that has been dumbed-down.

Racism- 1. A race-based decision making process that in a liberal society is only allowed to be used against white males. 2. Any criticism of black behavior that a liberal cannot intellectually defend against.

Rainforest- A jungle renamed for the purpose of exploitation by environmentalists for the purpose of raising money for the environmentalist.

Reform-When a government attempts to solve a problem that it created. Usually making the situation worse and creating a never-ending cycle of reform.

Republican Politician-Lovers of big government spending who promise to cut taxes and government spending, overturn Roe v. Wade, and reinstate school prayer, but in the end only manage to cut taxes.

Riot- An often violent public disorder caused by a group or crowd of persons. Historically riots have occurred in America due to perceived social injustices. Nowadays they occur because the rioters simply think they can get away with it since political correctness dictates that the police mostly just stand by and watch.

Sacred lands- Areas of land held in high esteem by Native Americans. They are zealously guarded and will not be despoiled, unless by a casino.

Self esteem movement- An attempt to artificially elevate the ego of society's losers by convincing them that their feeble attempts are just as noteworthy as the accomplishments of successful people. A way of leveling down the achievers.

Selfless Service- 1. Loving your country more than yourself. Understanding that there are bigger things out there than you. 2. A completely foreign idea to liberals. This is why they think that anyone who joins the military is a loser with no other options.

Senseless killing- When a person is murder without a good reason, as opposed to a person who is murdered for a good reason

Sex addiction-When a celebrity is caught cheating on their wife

Sexual harassment training- Curbing male behavior.

Slavery-A social-economic system under which certain persons-known as slaves-are deprived of personal freedom and compelled to perform labor or services. Government institutionalized slavery only occurred once in human history and that was in the United States where the white population enslaved the black population. Today it is part of a powerful social tool used to justify the black culture's self-destructive behavior.

Social justice- A euphemism for reverse racism

Soldier- A member of the United States military who is a low life, uneducated, bloodthirsty, killer.

Spirited debate- What Democrats experience when they disagree. As opposed to Republican fractures, quarrels, argument and disunity.

Spiritualism- The religion of the secular that conveniently happens to be morality-free

Suburban Sprawl-A derogatory term used to describe a normal part of population growth. As populations grow, there is a general increase in the amount of housing that will be needed. Liberals complain about “white flight” as the more affluent leave urban areas taking their taxes with them, but this is just a normal reaction to living in over-taxed and mismanaged cities. Preventing suburban sprawl leads to an increase in existing house prices, but liberals care more about the environment than affordable housing for our middle class.

Summer time-The most enjoyable time of the year for most people. Unless you work for the mainstream media and it is a season of shark attacks, deadly ticks and mosquitoes, tornados, hurricanes, drought, and rising temperatures.

Swiftboating-Telling the truth about a Democrat candidate

Talk Radio- A medium that is called extremist by critics although it attracts more Americans each week than any other media, therefore making it quite mainstream. Although also criticized for being unaccountable, it receives feedback instantly through phone calls and e-mails, which are openly broadcasted, making it more accountable than any other forms of media.

Televangelists-A group of mostly wealthy white conmen on television posing as preachers who attempt to show people a glimpse of heaven through their fabulously wealthy lifestyles

Terrorist- Somebody with an authentic grievance with the United States, which justifies their violent, deadly attacks against US women and children.

Tolerance-A condescending attitude of non-judgmentalism that is claimed to be a virtue, but is really just indifference.

Underdog- A person or team that is expected to lose in a competition. We root for the underdog, not out of our compassion for the little man, but out of envy of the favorite. We love to see the mighty fall.

Undocumented worker- A new political term for illegal alien. Sort of like calling a street drug dealer an unlicensed pharmacist

United Nations- The only place on Earth other than an American university that believes that a thugocracy is morally equivalent to a democracy

United States- A country that is responsible for all of the evil in the world to include racism, sexism, terrorism, global warming and tsunamis. A country that often finishes on the bottom of international quality of life lists, but the one country that people all over the world want to immigrate to.

Universal health care- A system of medical care that will not have enough resources for our most seriously ill patients but will be able to provide them with physician assisted suicide

Visual learners- Stupid people.

Voter apathy-The primary method an incumbent uses to get reelected

Voter disenfranchisement-When not enough Democrat voters show up to defeat a Republican candidate. As opposed to when the Democratic National Committee tells voters in Florida and Michigan that their votes are only worth half. Republican are fortunate enough never to experience this problem.

War on drugs- An expensive and ineffective government program that has had little effect on the problem of drug use in this country and whose unintended consequences have resulted in more violent crime. The main purpose of this war is to give its supporters of the war the moral high road.

War Protesters-Liberals and members of the mainstream media who show their disapproval of war, but only during Republican administrations. They were prominent during the Bush (Iraq/Afghanistan) administration but noticeably absent during the Obama (Iraq/Afghanistan) administration

Washington DC Public Schools- One of the worst public school systems in the country. Their problems could easily be fixed by creating a law that mandates that the children of our members of congress, senators, and other senior bureaucrats attend these school instead of private schools

Wetland- A swamp that is protected by environmentalists.

Whistleblower- Someone who exposes corrupt conservative politicians and big businessmen. As opposed to a dishonest low life like Linda Tripp who exposed a corrupt liberal politician.

Women’s Liberation- A social movement intended to equalize women’s roles in society but actually just resulted in more noncommittal sex for men.

Women's Rights- An attempt to assert social, political and economic equality for women. This ignores that fact that if women were truly equal, they would not need such legislation.

Women's Studies- An academic major taught at many universities that provides a platform for angry feminist professors. It has little to do with reality, and the course work consists of no critical thinking, just indoctrination into the liberal worldview. Since there is no real-life application for this major and no hopes of ever getting a real job, the only career a graduate can get into is one as an angry, feminist professor. Note-Any course at a college that is entitled "x" Studies" is liberal propaganda about how they believe the world should look like despite all of the contrary real world empirical evidence.

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Part II

A DICTIONARY OF COMMON PHRASES

“Celebrity doctor who is a personal friend”- A medical doctor who is paid a retainer by a celebrity in order to keep the patient supplied with massive amounts of prescription medicine.

“Dialogue on race”-When a liberal shouts you down with their monologue about race

“Don’t try to change me”-You must agree with everything I say

"Free to a good home"- What a family writes into an ad in the newspaper when they want to give away their dog to the first person who inquires about it.

“Getting your message out”-When a politician starts a propaganda blitz intended to either deceive or utterly confuse voters.

"I am retiring to spend more time with my family"- What people say when they are resigning from the public eye (politicians, celebrities, sports figures, etc). Despite the fact that the resentful family members who have been ignored for so long realize that they will continue to be ignored through retirement.

“I am withdrawing from this political race for personal reasons”-There’s no way in Hell I am going to win this one, or, damning evidence about my character is about to surface and I have no idea how I will lie, cheat, deny, propagandize, and spin my way out of it.

"I don't have enough time"- This is not a priority. Time is time; you cannot change it. A second is a second, a minute is a minute, an hour is an hour, etc. You can either organize you time better, but no one can add any length to time. If some says they do not have time for you or an activity, they are merely saying that it is not a priority with them.

“I don’t vote because I don’t believe in the Electoral College.” I have convinced myself that I am smarter than the Constitution, but the real reason I don’t vote is apathy.

"I got pregnant"- A euphemism for "I rolled the dice and now face the consequences of having unprotected sex." It is commonly used as though a pregnancy is a random event such as a cold or flue that afflicts innocent and unaware victims.

"I have never been a quitter"-A phrased used by quitters when they are truly facing their first real challenge in their life“I will do a nude scene if the role is right”-If they pay me enough money

“Let’s focus on the issues”- I want to change the subject, my opponent is getting close to one of my vulnerabilities.

"Nation of Immigrants"- A term applied to the United States by proponents of illegal immigration. This is opposed to all of the other nations in the world where the people grew out of the ground like potatoes.

“Now is not the time to affix blame”- I caused the problem

“Reintroduce myself to the voters”-When a politician doubles their spin effort

"The fact of the matter is…"- This is my loose interpretation of the truth and you better accept it as an absolute because I am trying awfully hard to convince myself.

"We are on strike for more respect"-What a union member says when he wants more money

“We are going to sleep in cardboard boxes to raise awareness of homelessness”- We are going to raise awareness of our compassion for the homeless without actually helping the homeless. This is an empty gesture that is made out of conceit, not compassion.

“Women and children first” - A type of chauvinism that feminists approve.

"Your child needs to develop their listening skills"- A euphemism that teachers use to describe your child. It is a polite way to say your kid is a rotten brat.

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